Foot, meet Mouth

I have this talent for saying things that will get me yelled at or shunned. By sheer virtue of opening my mouth, I am likely to either offend or confuse someone. I'm not as self-aware of this as I was in my teen years, but I still can't seem to look as good as Simon Cowell when I shove my toes so far back into my throat I can feel my sinuses.

Anyway, now that wonderful picture is in all your minds, so I'm going to head off and try to remove my toenails from my tongue. They aren't very tasty.

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